The Cyborg Name Generator

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A moment of silence for

Ethel the Goldfish
November 2002 - August 2005

Ethel was a good goldfish. She never complained and was always lively and active. She and her surviving partner Fred were saved from being another fish's meal. Yes, they started out their lives as lowly ten cent feeder fish, but instead lived full and meaningful lives in the fishtank in my kitchen. She will be sorely missed.

On more than one occasion a partner has commented that the look on my face was one of pain. Sometimes pleasure can be so intense it is painful. And at times pain is pleasurable.


Been craving another good spanking something fierce. When I told him that last night, he seemed surprised, but maybe a little pleased. For me it's quite simple, as soon as the ache fades from one it's time for another. *grins* I love that he likes doing it, giving it to me, allowing me to feel that.


Two weeks is too long my dear, hope to see you and my other friends soon.

2000!!!

You know, I don't really pay attention to my counter, but I glanced at it last night and saw that it was soon to hit 2000 unique visitors. Which isn't really much in the realm of the great interwebnetosphere, but I'm just a tiny little insignificant blog. So it's kind of cool. Yay me. I look again this morning and lo and behold it's right at 2000! So happy day for me!

I know . . . I'm weird. Thanks for visiting anyway!

"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own . . . Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

-Robert A. Heinlein

Polyamory Resources

Okay, it seems like I've had quite a few conversations lately with people regarding polyamory, and since I can, I'd like to present some of the resources we have used in our explorations.

One of the best sites to begin with is the standby, alt.polyamory.

Then there's Wikipedia's section on polyamory, which is quite informative.

I highly recommend reading The Ethical Slutby Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt. It has great content about dealing with multiple relationships, handling jealousy, resolving conflicts, and generally lots of stuff about non-traditional relationships.

The following are some articles written by the very beautiful and talented Mistress Matisse for her column Control Tower in The Stranger, a Seattle newspaper. She has some very good things to say about polyamory, but remember that what she says deals with her own experiences. I, for one respect her opinion. Your mileage may vary.

Poly Play

Polysexuality

Is She or Isn't She?

Pulling Rank

Get Over Getting Over It

Poly Rules

Non-Competition Clause

Nothing in any of these resources is set in stone. There are many good guidelines, but only you and your partner or partners can decide what is right for you at the time and in the place you are right now. I don't know everything there is to know about being poly. No one does. These are just a handful of what is out there. All you have to do is type polyamory into a search engine like Google, and at last count there are at least 190,000 pages that come up.


"May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live." - R. A. Heinlein

Well, I'd intended to go out to the club last night. However, about halfway there I received a phone call that required me to go home ASAP. While I was disappointed, I'm glad that I was able to get more sleep than I would have otherwise. But I did miss it. So "Hi" to my friends that I missed seeing last night!

Yet another internal debate

It has come up recently in a couple of conversations, my realization that I could take or leave swinging. I'm just not as into it as some people I see. I don't have personal ads out everywhere, I'm not on a bunch of message board groups, and it doesn't bother me. My last few experiences at it with people other than my friends have been less than thrilling anyway. The sex aspect of it is nice, but what I've really been after is that connection with people. The friendships, the intimacy that comes with knowing someone for more than an evening.

I have what I've always wanted, what I need. I have my partners, both primary and secondary, my intimate friends, and other good friends. I don't remember being this happy ever. But I know from experience that I should still get out there and meet new people. If I don't I will get too settled and stagnant. Can't have that now can we?

Besides, I don't think I could just quit going to the swing club I like to go to, even if I only went to see friends. Speaking of which, I need to get my butt up there this Thursday. I think it's been three weeks since my last time, which is totally out of character.

Spanking and Freezie pops

Thursday I visited some friends after work, hi Mysti and Wulfie, watched a silly movie, then spent the night at my boyfriend, Southpaw's house. As usual, we were up quite late.

The next morning was quite fun. Among other activities, I got a very good spanking. For a supposedly "vanilla" guy, he's getting really good at this. At first I was laying prone on the bed, and after he'd been at it awhile and I was quite warm, he got up. I thought it was over, but he told me to stay face down where I was.

He was gone for a minute, and when he came back I felt a delicious coolness as he slid something icy over my warm behind. It didn't take me long to realize it wasn't an ice cube. Of all things it was a plastic freezie pop, cherry I think.

Well, he then warmed me up again, and shortly had me reposition myself over his knees as he sat on the edge of the bed. This was a first. I'd never before had an over the knee spanking. I truly thought I was going to fall, but he didn't let me. This was, if anything, more wonderfully intense than it had been before.

And there is nothing more wonderful than hearing the words "I love you" as you're being well spanked!

Googlisms

I found this bit of fun on Lock and Ki, a very interesting blog I've just started reading. I, too, am a big fan of Google. It's my home page. I especially like the new map feature, much better than mapquest.

To do this, go to Googlism and enter your name.

These are some of my favorite results from my middle name:

noel is talked about by the daemons
noel is the best
noel is very talented
noel is related to the giant sloth
noel is the only person nookie will let take her out of the nook
noel is one of them
noel is rather a study in contradictions
noel is gay
noel is a great player and a great teacher
noel is completely distracted
noel is unimpressed about the suggestion
noel is another hanging faery
noel is the joker of the pack
noel is without a doubt the best christmas present we've ever received
noel is happy

It is what it is

My lips can still taste his. I can smell him on me. I can feel my skin still tingling from his touch, particularly the posterior portion of me *weg*. What a natural. He says that I'm a good teacher, but you know what I think? I think he knew all along, but didn't know it until now. If that makes sense. I know I'm being vague. Vagueness is all I have at the moment. Concrete definitions cannot exist here. The few things I know for certain are that I love him and he loves me and we just fit.

Leaving him this morning was very hard.

Coming home wasn't, though. I missed K and my kitties. And there was a nice note awaiting me from K. Had some cheerios and juice, and I'll be off to work in a while. I know I won't be able to see him that often . . . the most I can hope for is maybe once a week . . . if that. But it will be enough, as long as he is in my life.

Collide - Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find, you and I collide

Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide

You finally find, you and I collide
You finally find, you and I collide

On the edge I stand, looking out at something beautiful, gorgeous beyond compare.

That is a sentence I wrote the morning of August 2nd. The day before seeing my new love for only the second time. I've since stepped over the edge and landed safely in his arms. Another piece of the puzzle that is my heart has been fitted. I love you my darling!

A fun little blog game from Bek :

Again, here are the instructions:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions -- each person's will be different.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are the five questions I was given by Bek:

1. If you could ask one question of an alien race knowing that in their infinite wisdom and technology they would have the answer and they had to answer honestly - what would you ask them?

How can we continue to progress technologically without killing ourselves and our planet?

2. If you could be a fish/ocean critter what would you be and why?

I would be a dolphin, because they are beautiful, intelligent, and funny. They also look quite mischievous.

3. Is it better to have a goal and not achieve it than to not have a goal at all?

Yes. Without goals, what is the point of anything? Nothing would get done. Even at the basest levels we have the goals of water, food, shelter, and love.

4. Realistically, how many times a week would you have sex, assuming it was up to you?

Okay, assuming it's a good week, I'm not on my period, and have a partner or three available . . . I'd say at least once a day, if not more.

5. Think about this one hard....what is the one thing that turns you on the most, like if you think of it you are instantly in the mood?

There are many answers as there are many things that turn me on. With one person it might be the way they pull my hair back hard, with another a long, hard passionate kiss, and another the way they run their fingernails across my skin.

Love is Not Finite

I know I've read about this topic somewhere, so I'm not entirely sure which ideas are mine and which are the bits and pieces I've picked up elsewhere. Therefore I do not claim originality with anything I say here. It's all been percolating in my brain for a long time anyway. It is at the heart of who I really am, for me, at the core of my identity as polyamorous.

Love is a strange and mysterious substance.

Love goes by many names: caring, affection, adoration, fondness, devotion.

Some people insist on treating love as something that can be divided and distributed, where the pieces eventually run out. However, I disagree. Love is not a commodity to be parceled out. You won't eventually run out of love. There is always more there, an infinite supply.

The more love that is in your heart, the more people you love, the more intense is that love. It expands to fill whatever space is available. It connects hearts distant in time and space. Love multiplies, it should not divide.

Can't wait

A couple of months ago I got introduced to a friend of a friend. His name is Southpaw. Turns out he's really good with leather, among other things, and has been working on making my friends and I some toys. Hopefully I can learn how to do some things from him too.

Anyway, we've gotten to be really good friends since then. And I'm so freakin' excited! I'm on vacation this week, and I'm going to go spend Wednesday with him! I think he has my restraints ready . . . and I'll get a custom fitting! Guess what? They are purple! Yay! So, hopefully I'll get him to take some pictures of me modeling them that I can post.

And did I mention I get to spend the whole day with him?

. . . yummy . . .