Saturday, April 30, 2005
Happy Beltane Everyone!
Feeling rather subdued today. Quiet. I would have liked to go out tonight, given that I don't have to work tomorrow. And I would if I knew I wouldn't be alone. My significant other has to work and doesn't want to be out late. And my friends have been out of contact, so I just may as well stay home. I miss You.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Censorship
That word makes me so angry. Today I'm reading news stories on how "decency police" are trying to regulate what people can see on TV. Yes, certain things shouldn't be shown at certain times. Parents should know what their kids are watching. But I'm an adult. I pay for cable. Let me watch what I want. If I find something offensive, guess what, I can change the channel or turn it off.
And don't even get me started on schools banning certain books. Looking at a list of the most frequently banned books of the 1990's just amazes me. Works by Mark Twain, J. D. Salinger, Roald Dahl, Maya Angelou, John Steinbeck, and many others were banned. I've read a lot of these, and they were good books. Have we forgotten the First Amendment?
And don't even get me started on schools banning certain books. Looking at a list of the most frequently banned books of the 1990's just amazes me. Works by Mark Twain, J. D. Salinger, Roald Dahl, Maya Angelou, John Steinbeck, and many others were banned. I've read a lot of these, and they were good books. Have we forgotten the First Amendment?
Before I went to sleep last night I was reading the chapters on Flagellation and Clamps in SM101. I've been spanked, but nothing more than in the course of regular sex. I really would not like it if I was slapped in the face, considering I'm almost always wearing contacts or glasses. Never been paddled, unless you count this great wooden hairbrush I have, nice and wide and square, but haven't done that in a long time. I have been flogged, which I really loved. Canes kind of scare me. I don't know if I'd want to be marked like that.
Nipple clamps are awesome. I've grown to love being pinched really hard on my nipples. Also, I have a bunch of these white plastic clips, kind of like clothespins, that are great. I discovered a really great way to masturbate one night when I was alone. Took six of these clips, put one slowly on each nipple, then two on each of my labia. Play for a while, let myself come, then take them off and come again. Granted, I probably would have had more fun with a partner, but that by itself was fun.
Nipple clamps are awesome. I've grown to love being pinched really hard on my nipples. Also, I have a bunch of these white plastic clips, kind of like clothespins, that are great. I discovered a really great way to masturbate one night when I was alone. Took six of these clips, put one slowly on each nipple, then two on each of my labia. Play for a while, let myself come, then take them off and come again. Granted, I probably would have had more fun with a partner, but that by itself was fun.
A few guidelines for shoppers
1) If you break it, especially if there is glass or liquid soap involved, tell a clerk. Really, we won't make you pay for it. We just want to keep anyone from getting hurt.
2) Think before you utter the sentence "Do you work here?" If you are addressing someone wearing a nametag with the store's name on it, odds are, they do.
3) If, in a small store, there are two registers, and one has a big sign in the middle of the counter saying "This register is closed" please don't ask me which one is open.
4) Please don't pay for a $2 order with a $50 bill first thing in the morning. We are not a bank. We don't have that much change. Especially on Sunday.
5) If your small child is wrecking the store, yes I am going to say something about it, and don't look at me like I'm a child hater. Children are wonderful. Discipline yours.
2) Think before you utter the sentence "Do you work here?" If you are addressing someone wearing a nametag with the store's name on it, odds are, they do.
3) If, in a small store, there are two registers, and one has a big sign in the middle of the counter saying "This register is closed" please don't ask me which one is open.
4) Please don't pay for a $2 order with a $50 bill first thing in the morning. We are not a bank. We don't have that much change. Especially on Sunday.
5) If your small child is wrecking the store, yes I am going to say something about it, and don't look at me like I'm a child hater. Children are wonderful. Discipline yours.
Monday, April 25, 2005
How many do you have?
I was thinking this weekend about orgasms. What? Doesn't everybody? Anyway, what I was contemplating was the different kinds of orgasms I have. And I'm curious to see what other people have to add to this. To date I think I've had at least four distinct kinds.
1) Clitoral - the most common, easiest type for me
2) G-spot - more common than vaginal
3) Vaginal - not too common for me at all, usually during fisting
4) Nipple - least common, only happened 2-3 times, but requires long and intense periods of stimulation
What I'm wondering is if I'll ever get to experience an orgasm from being spanked or something similar. I'd like to.
1) Clitoral - the most common, easiest type for me
2) G-spot - more common than vaginal
3) Vaginal - not too common for me at all, usually during fisting
4) Nipple - least common, only happened 2-3 times, but requires long and intense periods of stimulation
What I'm wondering is if I'll ever get to experience an orgasm from being spanked or something similar. I'd like to.
I'm reading a few different books currently. Stranger in a Strange Land by R. A. Heinlein, SM 101 by Jay Wiseman, and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by P. Miller and M. Devon, oh and as occasional bedtime dessert Beauty's Punishment by Anne Rice.
Well, I was sitting in the living room looking at the listings for stores in the back of Screw the Roses, when all of a sudden I blurt out, "That has to be a typo!"
To which K replies, "What, Toungstown?" This is hilarious, but I guess you had to be there. Of course the name of the town should have been Youngstown, but the mere fact he knew what I was reading when I said that is just par for the course.
But this also means he's been reading the book, which can't be a bad thing.
Well, I was sitting in the living room looking at the listings for stores in the back of Screw the Roses, when all of a sudden I blurt out, "That has to be a typo!"
To which K replies, "What, Toungstown?" This is hilarious, but I guess you had to be there. Of course the name of the town should have been Youngstown, but the mere fact he knew what I was reading when I said that is just par for the course.
But this also means he's been reading the book, which can't be a bad thing.
Friday, April 22, 2005
One hundred things about me
(and yes, I've seen many people do this, so I thought I'd try it too)
1. I was born on December 28, 1978 in Columbus, Ohio.
2. I was told that just days before I was born my Mom totaled the car.
3. I almost died when I was born, because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck.
4. My Mom almost bled to death, because the placenta tore.
5. My Mom is one of my best friends.
6. But I won't tell her about this blog.
7. My Dad is a good man.
8. If a bit long-winded.
9. We lived in a small house in a small town until I was five.
10. There were railroad tracks behind our house.
11. I was terrified of the noise the trains made.
12. We had a cat there named Prince that we got when I was 2 and a half.
13. He lived to be seventeen years old.
14. He acted more like a dog than a cat, but I loved him.
15. My brother was born when I was five.
16. I remember him being tiny, wrinkled, and purple.
17. Now he's 21 and I'm very proud of him.
18. We moved to a trailer near my grandparent's house right before I started kindergarten.
19. I loved my kindergarten teacher.
20. My grandparents were always old.
21. They were married during the Depression.
22. My Dad was a "surprise."
23. His brother is about twelve years older than him.
24. I loved living out in the country.
25. Our road was tar and gravel.
26. But it was so great for riding my bike on.
27. There was hardly ever any traffic.
28. There was a bridge over a creek about a half mile away.
29. I loved to walk there and just look at the water.
30. I had very little supervision out there.
31. I loved playing in the hay field across the street, climing on the big round bales.
32. We had a huge garden there.
33. I was made to help alot.
34. I loved canning tomatoes and making the juice.
35. I still love fresh, home-grown tomatoes better than almost anything.
36. One of my favorite summer lunches is a whole plate of thick slices of still-warm tomato from the garden, with just a sprinkle of salt.
37. I also love growing herbs.
38. I hate weeding.
39. We built a house across from the trailer.
40. My favorite part of it was my closet.
41. It was over the stairs going down to the basement, so the ceiling was longer than the floor.
42. It had a bench in it that was carpeted.
43. And a long shelf across the back.
44. I could sit on the bench and lean back and hide.
45. I'm not sure what I was hiding from, but it was nice and dark in there.
46. I collect rocks.
47. I always have.
48. I like the interesting shapes and textures.
49. I have ones from three of the Great Lakes.
50. I have a big one from Yellowstone, but I've never been there.
51. My Dad brought it home for me.
52. I feel uncomfortable leaving the house without wearing or carrying amethyst.
53. It absorbs negativity.
54. Bad things happen when I forget it.
55. No, I'm not joking.
56. I'm pagan.
57. I follow no specific tradition.
58. I discovered it in high school.
59. At the end of my junior year.
60. My Mom freaked when she found my books.
61. Until I explained it to her.
62. My parents agreed not to go to church when they got married.
63. My Mom was raised Catholic, my dad Methodist.
64. So I had no spiritual background.
65. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
66. For a while I was sure there was no god.
67. I identify more with the concept of duality, Goddess and God, than a singular male deity.
68. But I believe that as long as you are seeking the light, what path you take does not really matter.
69. All Gods are one God.
70. All Goddesses are one Goddess.
70. And there is only one Initiator.
71. A lot of my friends in high school said they were Pagan or Wiccan.
72. So far as I know, I'm one of the few who wasn't just saying that.
73. I wonder where Summer is?
74. I hated high school.
75. I got a 4.0 my senior year.
76. I didn't want to be in the NHS because they were all preppy snobs.
77. I got a partial scholarship to college because I got a 29 on my ACT.
78. I only applied to one college.
79. Which is the one I went to.
80. We moved to this area when I was in eighth grade.
81. The people weren't very friendly when I started school here.
82. I don't remember too many of their names.
83. I lost my virginity deliberately when I was two months from being 15.
84. He was almost 18.
85. I wish it had been someone else.
86. I wish I would have waited.
87. Yes I used protection.
88. I've never had an STD.
89. I made sure my brother knew all about sex ed.
90. I didn't want him to get hurt.
91. And it's not like my parents wanted to talk about it.
92. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have your mom watch you take a pregnancy test?
93. I've had the same boyfriend now for six years.
94. We recently started swinging.
95. I like it.
96. I care about people too much, too easily.
97. It gets me hurt.
98. I am a submissive.
99. I think I have masochistic tendencies.
100. I am happy with this.
1. I was born on December 28, 1978 in Columbus, Ohio.
2. I was told that just days before I was born my Mom totaled the car.
3. I almost died when I was born, because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck.
4. My Mom almost bled to death, because the placenta tore.
5. My Mom is one of my best friends.
6. But I won't tell her about this blog.
7. My Dad is a good man.
8. If a bit long-winded.
9. We lived in a small house in a small town until I was five.
10. There were railroad tracks behind our house.
11. I was terrified of the noise the trains made.
12. We had a cat there named Prince that we got when I was 2 and a half.
13. He lived to be seventeen years old.
14. He acted more like a dog than a cat, but I loved him.
15. My brother was born when I was five.
16. I remember him being tiny, wrinkled, and purple.
17. Now he's 21 and I'm very proud of him.
18. We moved to a trailer near my grandparent's house right before I started kindergarten.
19. I loved my kindergarten teacher.
20. My grandparents were always old.
21. They were married during the Depression.
22. My Dad was a "surprise."
23. His brother is about twelve years older than him.
24. I loved living out in the country.
25. Our road was tar and gravel.
26. But it was so great for riding my bike on.
27. There was hardly ever any traffic.
28. There was a bridge over a creek about a half mile away.
29. I loved to walk there and just look at the water.
30. I had very little supervision out there.
31. I loved playing in the hay field across the street, climing on the big round bales.
32. We had a huge garden there.
33. I was made to help alot.
34. I loved canning tomatoes and making the juice.
35. I still love fresh, home-grown tomatoes better than almost anything.
36. One of my favorite summer lunches is a whole plate of thick slices of still-warm tomato from the garden, with just a sprinkle of salt.
37. I also love growing herbs.
38. I hate weeding.
39. We built a house across from the trailer.
40. My favorite part of it was my closet.
41. It was over the stairs going down to the basement, so the ceiling was longer than the floor.
42. It had a bench in it that was carpeted.
43. And a long shelf across the back.
44. I could sit on the bench and lean back and hide.
45. I'm not sure what I was hiding from, but it was nice and dark in there.
46. I collect rocks.
47. I always have.
48. I like the interesting shapes and textures.
49. I have ones from three of the Great Lakes.
50. I have a big one from Yellowstone, but I've never been there.
51. My Dad brought it home for me.
52. I feel uncomfortable leaving the house without wearing or carrying amethyst.
53. It absorbs negativity.
54. Bad things happen when I forget it.
55. No, I'm not joking.
56. I'm pagan.
57. I follow no specific tradition.
58. I discovered it in high school.
59. At the end of my junior year.
60. My Mom freaked when she found my books.
61. Until I explained it to her.
62. My parents agreed not to go to church when they got married.
63. My Mom was raised Catholic, my dad Methodist.
64. So I had no spiritual background.
65. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
66. For a while I was sure there was no god.
67. I identify more with the concept of duality, Goddess and God, than a singular male deity.
68. But I believe that as long as you are seeking the light, what path you take does not really matter.
69. All Gods are one God.
70. All Goddesses are one Goddess.
70. And there is only one Initiator.
71. A lot of my friends in high school said they were Pagan or Wiccan.
72. So far as I know, I'm one of the few who wasn't just saying that.
73. I wonder where Summer is?
74. I hated high school.
75. I got a 4.0 my senior year.
76. I didn't want to be in the NHS because they were all preppy snobs.
77. I got a partial scholarship to college because I got a 29 on my ACT.
78. I only applied to one college.
79. Which is the one I went to.
80. We moved to this area when I was in eighth grade.
81. The people weren't very friendly when I started school here.
82. I don't remember too many of their names.
83. I lost my virginity deliberately when I was two months from being 15.
84. He was almost 18.
85. I wish it had been someone else.
86. I wish I would have waited.
87. Yes I used protection.
88. I've never had an STD.
89. I made sure my brother knew all about sex ed.
90. I didn't want him to get hurt.
91. And it's not like my parents wanted to talk about it.
92. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have your mom watch you take a pregnancy test?
93. I've had the same boyfriend now for six years.
94. We recently started swinging.
95. I like it.
96. I care about people too much, too easily.
97. It gets me hurt.
98. I am a submissive.
99. I think I have masochistic tendencies.
100. I am happy with this.
Have you ever met someone and known, or at least hoped, without even talking to them first, that you really like them and could be friends? And then it gets even better when you do talk to them, spend time with them, and know, know, that they are about the best people you have ever met?
Yeah *sigh*
For the first time in a loooong time I think I have found people I can truly be myself around. Joy does not even begin to describe the feeling that fills my being.
(this part no one else will understand, but I do) I think now I can let myself have friends again. Forgiveness given to you is one thing, forgiving yourself takes a lot longer. I think almost seven years of penance and punishment is enough, don't you? Time to live again. Sam and Nicole, wherever you are, I hope you are well and happy. I forgive myself now, long after you forgave me.
Yeah *sigh*
For the first time in a loooong time I think I have found people I can truly be myself around. Joy does not even begin to describe the feeling that fills my being.
(this part no one else will understand, but I do) I think now I can let myself have friends again. Forgiveness given to you is one thing, forgiving yourself takes a lot longer. I think almost seven years of penance and punishment is enough, don't you? Time to live again. Sam and Nicole, wherever you are, I hope you are well and happy. I forgive myself now, long after you forgave me.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Thursday is one of my favorite days
I know, most people would say Friday or Saturday. Granted, those are both excellent days, with all their own merits, but I have my reasons for choosing Thursday as my personal Favorite Day of the Week. You see, or maybe you don't, since you don't know me, there is a club I go to that is only open Thursday and Saturday. Most Saturdays I can't go. So, my one night out is usually Thursday. This place is the most fun ever. Ever. But. I can't tell you where it is or what I do there or even the name of it. Cause it's mine. I found it first and you can't have it. Besides it is private and it already gets crowded most of the time. Limited capacity and all that. But, to anyone who knows me and knows what I'm talking about, You All Rock!!! You are the bestest, most fabulous, amazing people on the planet and I am privileged to know you.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Please tie me up!
Lately I can't seem to get away from the lovely images of wenches in rope flashing through my head. And just the thought of being tied up is becoming intoxicating. I wonder what it would be like to struggle against the restraint of rope. Or would I just luxuriate in the embrace of it? Being helpless while someone does things to and with your body is such a turn on. Gee, I wonder who could help me with this? In my dreams . . .
Kissing
For some reason I have a real urge to write about a subject near and dear to my heart, Kissing. And I'm not talking the chaste peck on the cheek for Aunt Martha. I'm talking about your lips on mine, slightly parted, tongues exploring, hard or soft, slow or fast, intense or relaxed.
There's just something about it. It is intimate in a way that sex sometimes isn't. I only say that, because my first memorable kiss took place after I was no longer virgin, and with a different person. Some of my favorite teenage experiences had nothing to do with sex, just kissing, okay they did involve the idea of sex, but never quite got there.
I had some of the most gorgeous makeout sessions with this one guy, I'll call him J. They lasted hours. Just kissing, trying to devour each other, lips on lips, on ears, on necks, on fingers. He was my first real boyfriend, but it didn't last, cause he had to leave after the summer. But, while I didn't manage to score with him then, age 16, I did get him about three years later when he was back in town. Yes! He was my cowboy who couldn't ride a horse, but . . . nevermind. Whee he looked hot in that leather duster.
I remember playing spin-the-bottle at my sixteenth birthday surprise party. Shutup. It was fun. I kissed the girls too, but only lips. At that point being bi hadn't even crossed my mind.
Some people are natural good kissers, some practice til they are, some need help. I won't name names, but one guy I had started seeing I really liked, but he couldn't kiss. Hmmm. End it because he can't kiss, or try to teach him? I opted for teaching. And, he has improved, but I'm still working on him. A phobia of being suffocated can be a real damper on kissing ability. But, we have made progress.
There is nothing like the feeling of someone bigger and stronger than you lacing their fingers through your hair to hold your head back and just absolutely ravishing you with their mouth. Makes me wet. I know, I know, what doesn't? So what are your thoughts on kissing?
There's just something about it. It is intimate in a way that sex sometimes isn't. I only say that, because my first memorable kiss took place after I was no longer virgin, and with a different person. Some of my favorite teenage experiences had nothing to do with sex, just kissing, okay they did involve the idea of sex, but never quite got there.
I had some of the most gorgeous makeout sessions with this one guy, I'll call him J. They lasted hours. Just kissing, trying to devour each other, lips on lips, on ears, on necks, on fingers. He was my first real boyfriend, but it didn't last, cause he had to leave after the summer. But, while I didn't manage to score with him then, age 16, I did get him about three years later when he was back in town. Yes! He was my cowboy who couldn't ride a horse, but . . . nevermind. Whee he looked hot in that leather duster.
I remember playing spin-the-bottle at my sixteenth birthday surprise party. Shutup. It was fun. I kissed the girls too, but only lips. At that point being bi hadn't even crossed my mind.
Some people are natural good kissers, some practice til they are, some need help. I won't name names, but one guy I had started seeing I really liked, but he couldn't kiss. Hmmm. End it because he can't kiss, or try to teach him? I opted for teaching. And, he has improved, but I'm still working on him. A phobia of being suffocated can be a real damper on kissing ability. But, we have made progress.
There is nothing like the feeling of someone bigger and stronger than you lacing their fingers through your hair to hold your head back and just absolutely ravishing you with their mouth. Makes me wet. I know, I know, what doesn't? So what are your thoughts on kissing?
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
So, what to write about?
I was thinking tonight, between the great speakers I was listening to, what do I really want to do with this blog? Is there a direction I want to go in? What do I want to tell people? What do I not want to tell? Because you know, everyone has something inside, something that no one knows, that you will never tell anyone, because it is too much of something. Too dark, too evil, too sad, too whatever.
I'd like to explore my sexual history, just for my own sake. The other week I was trying to make a list of all the people I've been with. Not a huge number by any means, but still more than ten or fifteen or something. I keep thinking I'm forgetting someone. Granted there were a couple worth forgetting. Some who's names I'm no longer sure of. And, it also depends on what you call sex. If I go with Clinton's definition, the number gets narrowed a bit. If you include a really good makeout session with groping, it increases by a big factor.
I probably won't talk much about my family, cause goddess help me if they ever found out about it. I could talk about my three cats - Mattie, Gracie, and Jezebel. My fish - Fred, Ethel, and Alfie. I could talk about my house and the never-ending basement remodeling that will never ever be done in my lifetime because my god it is taking so looooong. Gah. I have no children to talk about. I do have some pretty neat cousins. One of which is a cute goth-looking chickie who wants to be a doctor. She is awesome. And her mom is double triple awesome. It was pretty interesting to find out two Christmases ago that I have three pagan cousins too. The two aforementioned and one male cousin who I didn't see for forever because his silly father and brothers were freaked out that he's gay. Which I didn't understand was a problem. Whatever, at least they got over it.
Enough rambling for tonight. I'll post something tomorrow. Goodnight all. Blessed Be.
I'd like to explore my sexual history, just for my own sake. The other week I was trying to make a list of all the people I've been with. Not a huge number by any means, but still more than ten or fifteen or something. I keep thinking I'm forgetting someone. Granted there were a couple worth forgetting. Some who's names I'm no longer sure of. And, it also depends on what you call sex. If I go with Clinton's definition, the number gets narrowed a bit. If you include a really good makeout session with groping, it increases by a big factor.
I probably won't talk much about my family, cause goddess help me if they ever found out about it. I could talk about my three cats - Mattie, Gracie, and Jezebel. My fish - Fred, Ethel, and Alfie. I could talk about my house and the never-ending basement remodeling that will never ever be done in my lifetime because my god it is taking so looooong. Gah. I have no children to talk about. I do have some pretty neat cousins. One of which is a cute goth-looking chickie who wants to be a doctor. She is awesome. And her mom is double triple awesome. It was pretty interesting to find out two Christmases ago that I have three pagan cousins too. The two aforementioned and one male cousin who I didn't see for forever because his silly father and brothers were freaked out that he's gay. Which I didn't understand was a problem. Whatever, at least they got over it.
Enough rambling for tonight. I'll post something tomorrow. Goodnight all. Blessed Be.
Want to know something scary?
I'll be honest. I'm not skinny. I know, shocker. The scary part? I weigh less now than I probably did in middle school. Would actually have to track down medical records, cause goodness knows I didn't keep track, but I think so. Saw a relative over Easter that hadn't seen me since I was maybe eleven. He said I was skinnier than I was then. That frightens me. What the hell was I doing weighing over 200lbs in middle school? And it's a damn good thing I didn't keep going. I have vague memories of trying various diets, but you know what really got the weight off? A retail job where I'm not sitting on my ass all day. As much as I hate it, it's been good for me. I also try not to eat as much junk as I used to. But I love to cook. And I will always have a weakness for good dark chocolate. All in moderation, which is the real key.
The title of this blog, journal, thingy
Just a note on the title "Everybody lies about sex." No, I do not think everyone does. There are lots of honest people out there, but even these may exaggerate, embellish, or fib a bit. Even I do it. Also the title really is just a quote from a favorite book. The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, by Robert A Heinlein, and also found in Time Enough for Love, by the same.
Another of my favorite quotes from this book is: "The more you love, the more you can love --and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just."
Another of my favorite quotes from this book is: "The more you love, the more you can love --and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just."
Hi there . . .
So, if anyone is actually reading this stuff. (And I have no reason to think many are.) Do any of you have any questions so far? I'll probably be posting tons of stuff today, because this is my day off and I have the time. I'm just doing laundry and various other things around the house. Lots of stuff to write and get out of my system.
Poly
I first discovered the term polyamory (polyamoury) in my freshman year of college, so age 18. "Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved." This definition is courtesy of http://www.faqs.org/faqs/polyamory/faq/ .
And I was like, wow, so this is what I wanted all through high school. My group of friends seemed to trade partners like a dance almost. But we did so with all of the accompanying drama and jealousy. Looking back on it, if we'd only agreed to be a group relationship it would have been so much easier and much more fun. Right, but what high school kid knows beans about things like polyamory. They don't teach this in Relationships 101. Come to think of it, that is a good idea for a class to actually be required.
So, I was responding to a personal ad on Yahoo one day, mostly because I thought it was good, and wanted to encourage whoever wrote it. Not because I wanted to date the person, for surely I would not be interested in someone seven years older than me. He responded, I was to find out much later, pretty much because of one line in my profile. "Do you know what polyamory means?" I responded back, because who can resist quotes from Pinky and the Brain. Six years later, we're still together.
Where does being poly come in, you ask? Well, while we haven't found other people yet, we are kind of looking. He's currently pursuing a certain young lass we're friends with, with my total support. They're taking it very slowly, as she's quite busy with school and work. But what a sweetheart, she is fun, funny, spontaneous, gorgeous, smart, and just an overall good person. I can just picture her moving in some day. I'm still working on the thorny problem of explaining that to family if the time ever comes, but honestly it's just none of their business. Me? I'm just having fun with new friends, playing with them, not really looking for new partners at the moment.
And I was like, wow, so this is what I wanted all through high school. My group of friends seemed to trade partners like a dance almost. But we did so with all of the accompanying drama and jealousy. Looking back on it, if we'd only agreed to be a group relationship it would have been so much easier and much more fun. Right, but what high school kid knows beans about things like polyamory. They don't teach this in Relationships 101. Come to think of it, that is a good idea for a class to actually be required.
So, I was responding to a personal ad on Yahoo one day, mostly because I thought it was good, and wanted to encourage whoever wrote it. Not because I wanted to date the person, for surely I would not be interested in someone seven years older than me. He responded, I was to find out much later, pretty much because of one line in my profile. "Do you know what polyamory means?" I responded back, because who can resist quotes from Pinky and the Brain. Six years later, we're still together.
Where does being poly come in, you ask? Well, while we haven't found other people yet, we are kind of looking. He's currently pursuing a certain young lass we're friends with, with my total support. They're taking it very slowly, as she's quite busy with school and work. But what a sweetheart, she is fun, funny, spontaneous, gorgeous, smart, and just an overall good person. I can just picture her moving in some day. I'm still working on the thorny problem of explaining that to family if the time ever comes, but honestly it's just none of their business. Me? I'm just having fun with new friends, playing with them, not really looking for new partners at the moment.
Sex Education
Okay, for the record, I didn't learn a damn thing from my parents, except that sex was not a fit topic for conversation. With the exception of jokes and snickers behind your hand. I had the standard basic sex-ed classes starting in (I think) fifth grade. So I must have been eleven.
But! My true education began when I found The Book. I was twelve. It was somewhere among our many bookshelves in the family room. I think it must have been from a college class my dad took for his master's or something like that. The title: Understanding Sexuality. Needless to say, to a twelve-year-old anything with the word "sex" in it was like a magnet. So I, um, borrowed it. Incidentally, in thinking about writing this, I went looking for it, and I still have it. Hee.
I learned all about anatomy before they covered that in school. And what to do with it. Yeah, I know, I learned masturbation from a book. What a geek. But there were illustrations and techniques. I had to try this. After some experimentation I found something that felt really good. And I'm proud to say that my technique has evolved and improved and I still practice almost daily, if not more. It is an art.
I learned all kinds of things from this wonderful tome of knowledge. Toys, positions, sexual orientations, contraception, what swinging was (although only recently put into practice), all kinds of neat information.
All in all, it cemented a certainty in me that, if I ever have children, they too will reap the benefits of this knowledge. They don't teach anything near what kids or teens need to know in school. All I had was a four week section in my sophomore health class, in which they split the boys and girls into separate groups. WTF!? But the nurse who taught it was great. She started the class with a litany of what she couldn't tell/show us. Couldn't talk about birth control, couldn't show how to use a condom or where to get them, couldn't do any number of things. But, she told us to see her privately if we needed to.
Oh, and I hope this doesn't seem really weird, but I did share my book with my brother, who is five years younger than me. Not until he was like twelve though. Mostly because I didn't want him to experience any confusion and wanted him to be safe. So, yeah, I supervised his sexual education. And he's doing fine, thank you. But now he really tells me too much about his sex life. Oh well.
But! My true education began when I found The Book. I was twelve. It was somewhere among our many bookshelves in the family room. I think it must have been from a college class my dad took for his master's or something like that. The title: Understanding Sexuality. Needless to say, to a twelve-year-old anything with the word "sex" in it was like a magnet. So I, um, borrowed it. Incidentally, in thinking about writing this, I went looking for it, and I still have it. Hee.
I learned all about anatomy before they covered that in school. And what to do with it. Yeah, I know, I learned masturbation from a book. What a geek. But there were illustrations and techniques. I had to try this. After some experimentation I found something that felt really good. And I'm proud to say that my technique has evolved and improved and I still practice almost daily, if not more. It is an art.
I learned all kinds of things from this wonderful tome of knowledge. Toys, positions, sexual orientations, contraception, what swinging was (although only recently put into practice), all kinds of neat information.
All in all, it cemented a certainty in me that, if I ever have children, they too will reap the benefits of this knowledge. They don't teach anything near what kids or teens need to know in school. All I had was a four week section in my sophomore health class, in which they split the boys and girls into separate groups. WTF!? But the nurse who taught it was great. She started the class with a litany of what she couldn't tell/show us. Couldn't talk about birth control, couldn't show how to use a condom or where to get them, couldn't do any number of things. But, she told us to see her privately if we needed to.
Oh, and I hope this doesn't seem really weird, but I did share my book with my brother, who is five years younger than me. Not until he was like twelve though. Mostly because I didn't want him to experience any confusion and wanted him to be safe. So, yeah, I supervised his sexual education. And he's doing fine, thank you. But now he really tells me too much about his sex life. Oh well.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Hello
Well, I'm not sure what I'm going to write here, or how long this will last, but I'll give it a shot. I'd like to explore my history and my life in general in order to see how I got where I am today and where I want to go.
Some basics about me until I figure out how to do the profile thingy. I'm 26, female, about 5'5" depending on footwear. I have gorgeous long red curly hair, brown eyes, and wear glasses or contacts because I'm blind as a bat. I will post a picture when I find one decent enough, get one taken, or when I get around to it. I live in northeastern Ohio. I am college educated, with a degree and everything, yet I still work in retail. But I'm working on something that will hopefully get me out of that. Oh, yeah, I'm also Pagan, bisexual, in an open/poly relationship, and am exploring the swing lifestyle and the world of D/s. Gee, I hope my family doesn't find this. Isn't the interwebnet wonderful?
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